Conny and her new software…
Somehow I can’t blog from flickr tonight, so the photo is a bit smaller, but by clicking on it you can see it large. I’ll work on the problem later.
Anyway, I continue where I left yesterday: one of the typical patterns after separation from a partner is to go wild, meeting as many potential sexual partners as possible in order to avoid emptiness. While being legitimate, this behavior will not help you find out about your needs. It may be a wonderful phase where you finally “live what you’ve always wanted to live” but it might leave you more lonesome than before. So, after a while, you will cool down, and you will have to face yourself. Look into the mirror and look real hard.
Now you have a chance to work on your personality, and a chance to find out who you are, where you want to be and how you might get there. Why do you want to be with someone in the first place?
I am currently living this moment. I find it painful and frustrating, but since removing the “obstacle” Serafine from my life, I have a clearer view of what’s going on. Before I just focussed on getting Serafine, which was not helping my search for truth at all.
Speaking of, today she wrote me an SMS again. She said she was very sad to lose me. This time I replied. I wrote: “I can’t forget you if you keep writing me. Please don’t write, you are making me very sad.” Which it did, because before I got her SMS I was OK, but after I was really sad and low. And I can feel how she’s trying to draw me in, and how my thoughts want to be near her. She didn’t answer. But basically I thought of her for the rest of the day.
I find yesterdays comments really interesting and inspiring. I will not answer though, because these are your opinions on this very complicated subject. All I do is write down my “thoughts of the day” in this blog. I am not trying to be the “wisenheimer of loneliness”, it’s just my 2 cents, that’s all. If you can relate to what I’m writing, good, if not, also good. Many interesting thoughts came back through your comments. Thank you very much. I will not read the article on Wikipedia while I write this, because I want to go through my thoughts unbiased. Later I will read it.
Thank you again for your input, I feel blessed to have you as my readers.
In the evening I went to Matthew and Conny and we had dinner together. Conny and I had lots of arguments, it was a bit stressful, but as a whole the evening was nice. Maybe I’m a bit uptight because I stop taking my medication. I like the photo of Conny, she just bought Creative Suite and is totally excited over it. She’s a very passionate woman.
